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Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Greatest Use of a Computer

What is the greatest use of a computer?
???
Elementary, my dear Watson. Its Copy and Paste!!!

So here I go .............

Stupid Label Instructions

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: On a bag of chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!) On a packaged dessert (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! You lose!) On packaging for a iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?) On a Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.) On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space?) On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.) On a packaged peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (Really???) On an Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (I'm glad they cleared that up...) On a child’s superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!) In a Laundromat : Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out. In an office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken. Quicksand Warning : Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council. Seen during a Conference: For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor. Notice in a Field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges. On a Repair Shop Door : We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work) On some frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's *just* a suggestion!) On a sleep aid Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)

Different World

A worldwide survey was conducted by the unitednations. the only question asked was "would you please give your honest opinionabout solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"The survey was a huge failure.because ,In Africa, no one understood what "food "meantIn India no one understood what "honest" meantIn China, no one understood what "opinion "meantIn Europe no one understood what" shortage "meantIn the Middleeast no one understood what "solution" meantIn South America, no one understood what "please" meantIn the US of A no one understood what the "rest of the world" meant

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